February 19, 2010


This had nothing to do with design, just something I have been thinking about more often lately.

My husband and I bought our first house in September of last year. We were having a really hard time finding a home in our price range with what we needed. So, of course, I was getting a little bummed out.

One night my husband and I were talking about finding a home. I was in the "we're NEVER gonna buy a home" mode, and, well, my husband was just along for the ride.

At one point in the conversation he said to me "well, would you rather have a hard time finding a house or having kids? I mean, at least we aren't sitting in a huge house with no one else in it but us."

Of course, I then thought of us in a big beautiful house, just us, no kids. I almost cried out loud. Seriously. The thought of me not being able to have kids, devastating.

Next thought, I need to be a surrogate mother.

I really think I do, not right now, life's a little stressful, but I do. I want to be able to help a couple who cannot carry a child, for whatever reason. I couldn't be an egg donor, cause then that's "my blood" so to speak, and I couldn't give it up then.

But, there are people out there who just need to borrow a womb, so to speak. You know, their own baby biologically, I would just carry it for them. I am actually kinda excited just thinking about it.

What do you think of surrogacy? Could you lend out your womb to give someone else a child that's really their own?


  1. I think it's a pretty darn cool idea. :-) It's illegal in NY whre I live, though. Me? I think I wouldn't be able to do it just because I can't imagine being so sick like I was with DD and then not even having a baby at the end of it to keep! Although my current pregnancy with DS has been pretty easy-peasy, so who knows what another pregnancy would be like?

    Do you think you'd take care of yourself better, worse, or the same, knowing that you're carrying another person's child?

  2. I think I would take care of myself the same. I'm a little anal with my health when I'm preggers :)

  3. That would be really generous and amazing. I haven't thought of surrogacy but I have thought of adoption. I don't agree with all that Brad and Angelina do but I look up to them for adopting children from around the world. One of my friends was a foster parent in her early 20s and once they get into a routine with their newborn they will start doing it again. There are a lot of people doing amazingly inspirational things in this world, and if you could do that I would support you.

  4. Surrogacy is something my husband and I considered. Trying to find a surrogate that is, not being one. We had a miscarriage very early on in our marriage, about 3 months in. We never knew what caused the miscarriage so we were very worried, but we decided to try again. We made it through the first trimester this time, and found out we were pregnant with twins. We were very excited. I went into labor at 22 weeks and the twins were born way too early and passed away soon after they were born. You may not understand how difficult it is for you and your husband to hold two children in your arms and watch them pass away, but I am sure you can understand that it was difficult. My husband and I still had no answers as to why this was happening except that it was possible that the D&E I had during the miscarriage caused an incompetent cervix. Which is when the cervix dilates prematurely, usually during the second trimester. This would happen with every pregnancy that we had in the future. The only thing we could do is have stitches placed in my cervix to hold it closed. The success rate for this procedure isn't bad, but we were very worried about it. We both felt we could not handle watching another child die in our arms. We did consider surrogacy. But, we just didn't know how to go about finding someone that was willing to help that we could trust. We put off trying to have children again and again. Then, we did get pregnant. It kind of snuck up on us, kind of an accident, kind of us being irresponsible on purpose because we couldn't admit to ourselves that we wanted to try again. Our beautiful son was born in October and we are so happy with our little son. But, we still are afraid to try again. The cerclage may fail next time. It may be harder for me to take it easy being pregnant with a cerclage while taking care of an toddler. It would be nice if surrogacy were a realistic option for us.
    Thank you for discussing something so interesting on your blog.


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